RV021

Exactly How I Want It To Be

[THE PARTY, IN THE MESS ROOM]
[A BEAUTIFUL ACAPELLA RENDITION OF MORIOR INVICTUS]
[THE HUSHED VOICES OF WARREN AND GRACE AT THE BACK]

WARREN

I hope you’re paying Gordon residuals for all of this.

GRACE

I think he’d be very moved to learn how his music has affected people so many years later. Are you going to carry that tortoise everywhere?

WARREN

Yes, Grace, yes I am. So, no one requests ‘Stairway to Heaven’ or ‘My Way’?

GRACE

We don’t have a lot of music here that we don’t make ourselves.

WARREN

Why not?

GRACE

Rights reasons.

WARREN

Rights reasons?

GRACE

All copyright media went behind enormous paywalls years ago. And then the Bastion banned it all anyway.

WARREN

What’s the Bastion?

GRACE

They are in charge. A fanatical religious militia.

WARREN

Well, the Bastion sounds fun. Who let that happen?

GRACE

In desperate times, people turn to desperate measures.

WARREN

Like a euthanasia clinic in the Highlands.

GRACE

You think we are a crazy death cult, don’t you?

WARREN

I wouldn’t say that.

[THE RECITAL HAS ENDED. A VOICE IN THE CONGREGATION SHOUTS:]

VOICE

MORIOR INNVICTUS!

CONGREAGATION

DEATH BEFORE DEFEAT!

GRACE

I suppose I can understand where you might get that idea.

WARREN

You said it, not me.

[JADE TURNER HAS STOOD TO ADDRESS THE CROWD. A FEW WHISTLES, CALLS OF ‘SPEECH!’ AND ‘GO ON JADE!’ THE CROWD IS EBULLIENT]

JADE

Thank you, thank you. I won’t keep you all long. I just wanted to say… well, thank you. To all of you. I came here six weeks ago, so afraid, so angry. So alone. I didn’t believe I’d find anything. I’d have to haul myself to the top of Ballbag and jump off. I know for some visitors that has been suggested as a form of Completion and to those I say good luck, but do you really want to spend your last hours on Earth being shat on a hundred times by pink-footed geese?

[LAUGHTER]

JADE

Red Valley has been a fortress for me at the end of my life. On my good days, you’ve been a source of joy. On the bad days you’ve kept me in one piece. I’m afraid I… I don’t have much for you in the way of wisdom. Aubrey - where are you? - Aubrey.

COMMUNITY

She’s over there.

JADE

You try and hide on days like this, don’t you? You and I talked about legacy not long ago. You told me legacy is nothing more than asking others to worship at the altar of your own ego. No graves, no monuments. We return to dust and you put that dust to use. It’s a strange idea, legacy. Particularly in these times. I feel, uh…

JADE

I feel like… for the first thirty years of my life, everyone told me to stop worrying what other people thought of me. Could never quite do that of course. Then… I don’t know. Something must have sunk in, because for the next thirty years of my life, I really didn’t give two shits what anyone thought. I had too much to do, apparently. Then I got old. Then I got this disease. That makes me forget where I am. That makes me call one of you by the name of my son, then become furious when you kindly correct me. That makes me forget the suit my husband wore on our wedding day. This rotten illness takes the ground out from under your feet. And I said to people, I said, what’s the point of all this, if I end up losing it all, if I’m Jade Turner in nothing more than name? They would commiserate with me at first. Then they’d say: But you live on, Jade. You live on in all those you leave behind, in the changes you made to their lives. Oh shit, I thought. Maybe it really does matter what people think of you.

[A RIPPLE OF LAUGHTER]

JADE

No. No, I think I got it right. Aubrey, even if your ashes join mine gritting the path up to this station, with all that you’ve done, you might not be able to escape your legacy. This place will live on long after me and, I hope, long after you. Those who will follow will know your name. And the world is a smidgen brighter for it. But for me… fuck it. Fuck legacy!

[THE CROWD WHOOPS AND CALLS IT BACK TO HER, A SMATTERING OF APPLAUSE. JADE CARRIES ON WITH THANK YOUS FOR A LITTLE WHILE UNDERNEATH WARREN AND GRACE’S CONVERSATION]

JADE

I could write a thank you list that would touch the floor but I’ll find each and every one of you over the course of the evening. But I do just want to thank the beautiful musicians and singers here who make these Completion days feel so special. Right, I won’t take up the stage any longer.

GRACE

Ah, that Jade!

WARREN

What did she mean about her ashes gritting the path?

GRACE

Exactly that. Everyone who completes is cremated. Their ashes are used to grit the path. You know how slippery it can get.

WARREN

How practical.

GRACE

There’s a certain poetry to it as well, I think.

[JADE IS FINISHING UP]

Well then. I wish you all an extremely fond farewell. My husband is waiting for me, and I’m keen to get back to him. So, without further ado, Morior Invictus, which I’m fairly certain translates to… LET’S GET FUCKED UP!

[THE CROWD GOES WILD. MUSIC BLARES. STREAMERS ARE POPPED]

[THE PARTY CONTINUES. GENERAL HUBBUB. WARREN IS STOOD IN THE CORNER WITH GORD FLOATING NEARBY]

WARREN

I’m at bad at parties in the future as I was in the past.

GORD

What do you mean?

WARREN

No one’s really talking to me. Is it Waffles? Do people not like her?

GORD

Everyone likes Waffles.

WARREN

So, it’s me. Do I… do I smell, can you smell me?

GORD

I can’t smell you. Aubrey’s asked everyone to give you some space. She doesn’t want you overstimulated.

WARREN

Well maybe a death day party after telling me Earth is doomed wasn’t the best plan for day 1 out of quarantine.

GORD

It’s been very hard for Aubrey deciding what course of action would be best in regards to your reintegration. In the end, she felt you might have FOMO if you found out there’d been a party going on while you were stuck downstairs.

WARREN

People don’t still say FOMO in the future, do they?

GORD

No, but I’ve been trying to utilise parlance relative to your time period. Safe, fam. Holibobs.

WARREN

Oh my God, stop… stop that. Immediately.

GORD

Weird flex but okay. I cannot even.

WARREN

I’m immediately going to have a cringe stroke and die. Shut up.

GORD

Stay mad.

WARREN

You’re the reason no one’s talking to me.

GORD

Shagadelic.

WARREN

Grace! Grace!

[GRACE COMES OVER WITH A COUPLE OF DRINKS]

GRACE

Warren. Are you enjoying yourself?

WARREN

Is that future alcohol?

GRACE

Yes. It’s not very different from past alcohol -

WARREN

Hold the tortoise.

[WARREN DRINKS, AND COUGHS HIS GUTS UP]

GRACE

Past alcohol that was made in a shed. Malcolm’s been making this out of berries and bad intentions for years.

WARREN

Dad Jokes Robocop is embarrassing me. People are… People are looking.

GORD

Wassuuuuuuu-

WARREN

Cease. Cease. I’m begging you.

GRACE

Of course, people are looking. You are from the distant past and you’re carrying a tortoise around at a party. And you just choked on your first drink in 40 years. There’s a lot to look at.

WARREN

Did Aubrey really tell people to give me space?

GRACE

Of course. You need time after you Kontinue. We all do, no matter how long we’re in the box. What am I saying, who knows that better than you?

WARREN

We? Have you… have you been in hypersleep?

GRACE

Five year sentence. 2031 to 36.

WARREN

Damn… Like a prison sentence?

GRACE

Oh yes. My experience at Red Valley made me have a change of heart about what I had helped create, if I even did that much. I followed Aubrey in her attempts to get rid of the Kontinue technology - it had spread so fast, it was in every major prison in the world within years, and then coveted by every major government, every corporation. We tried to do it nicely and kind-of legally at first. That did not work. We got a lot done before they caught us. Some of us anyway. Aubrey led the other cells across the world for a few more years but they got her too in the end. The irony of punishing us with the very thing we were trying to destroy… was not lost.

WARREN

How long was Aubrey in hypersleep for?

GRACE

Nearly twenty years before we broke her out. You may have wondered why she looks so young when she should be nearly 90. A lot of us here have Kontinued at one point or another. The Bastion’s laws are as strict as they come and they’re committed to wiping out any cryotech they find, but that’s only in Britain. In other parts of the world, it’s still used as a punishment. That guy over there got 6 months in cryo for throwing a frozen pizza during a protest in Budapest a few years back. Are you alright? The moonshine was not that bad, was it?

WARREN

No, the future just feels like a Matrix sequel made by Monty Python. The more I hear, the more absurd all of this is. I feel like you’re daring me to laugh.

GRACE

There is no easy way to tell it. If you want a more straightforward version of events maybe, ask Gord.

GORD

YOLO!

WARREN

Uh… Jesus, I didn’t know he was still there.

[AN AWKWARD PAUSE]

GRACE

Warren… I owe you an apology. It has been many many years for me but it must still seem very recent for you. My behaviour…. It was young and ambitious back then, but that does not excuse the choices I made. I hope you can believe I’ve spent my life trying to make up for those choices.

WARREN

Honestly Grace, at the risk of sounding rude, I didn’t pay you or anyone else that much attention. I kind of saw all Overhead people as just extensions of Bryony.

GRACE

Bryony, of course.

WARREN

You know, that’s the first time I’ve said her name since I woke up.

GRACE

I don’t suppose Aubrey has -

[SOMEONE HAS COME TO JOIN THEM. IT’S JADE]

JADE

Degracious.

GRACE

Jade! Jade. How do you like your party?

JADE

It’s wonderful!

GRACE

What can I do for you, Jade?

JADE

It’s time, Grace.

GRACE

Are you sure? The party is still in full swing.

JADE

That’s exactly how I want it to be.

GRACE

Of course. Gord, can you call Aubrey? We’ll meet her in the house. You’ll excuse me, Warren?

WARREN

Uh, yeah… yeah, sure.

JADE

Thanks for coming, Warren.

WARREN

No problem. Morior… Invictus.

JADE

Attaboy.

GRACE

Here, take my hand.

MUSICIAN

Thank you. Thank you. We are the Daughters of the Tortoise. We are gonna be playing for you all night. So let’s keep the party going.

[GRACE AND JADE DEPART]

WARREN

Gord, I’d like to go and visit Gordon please.

GORD

Okay. Let’s go.

[SOMEONE ELSE HAS APPROACHED]

MALCOLM

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay down there with your friend.

WARREN

Oh, hi. Err… Yeah, I will leave you to enjoy the party.

MALCOLM

With any luck the mountain will bury you both again.

WARREN

Wow… I’m… I’m sorry, look I do not know what I’ve done to -

MALCOLM

What you’ve done? You don’t know what you’ve done?

GORD

Malcolm, perhaps it’s best we called one of the oth -

MALCOLM

You’re the bloody start of it all! Without you it might never have come to this!

GORD

Malcolm, why don’t I call -

MALCOLM

Fuck off, with your voice changed! Change it back! Fuck off!

[MALCOLM BANGS THE FLOATING DRONE WITH HIS HAND. THE PROPELLERS BUZZ AS IT CORRECT ITSELF]

WARREN

Hey, I’m sorry. Please don’t get upset. I’m going. I’ll go.

[HESTER ARRIVES]

HESTER

Hey, hey, Malcolm, what’s wrong?

MALCOLM

Oh, leave me alone! I’m just speaking my mind, I thought we were all free to speak our minds.

HESTER

We are. But this is Jade’s night, and we all agreed there are no cross words on a Complete night.

MALCOLM

You fill everyone’s minds with your free love liberal decaf dogshit but you and her, you run this place like a goddamn gulag! Don’t forget where you came from, Hester!

HESTER

Malcolm -

MALCOLM

Oh, jog on, the lot of you. I’m going to get more moonshine.

HESTER

Are you sure that’s -

MALCOLM

I bloody made it, Hester! I’ll do what I like! Pass me a glass! You! Get me a glass. Oh, that’s dirty…

[HE LEAVES]

HESTER

And… he’s gone.

WARREN

Thank you for that.

HESTER

No worries. Bit less charming than the last time you met, isn’t he?

WARREN

Well, not really, he called me a fucko.

HESTER

Not this afternoon. Last time. 2020.

WARREN

What… What do you mean… Bloody hell… M… Malcolm…

HESTER

Landry. Former vice chairman of Overhead Industries. He bought you a steak dinner 44 years ago.

WARREN

The pub. Th… The Boat and Bridger, on Argyll Street…

HESTER

What’s really going to fry your mind is that you only pooed that steak dinner out a few days ago.

WARREN

Uh… Right.

GORD

It’s now been composted and will be used to grow potatoes.

WARREN

That’s… That’s actually a weirder and much worse thing to know.

HESTER

Yeah, Gord. You made it weird.

GORD

Just trying to be in the conversation.

WARREN

Holy crap. Hester

HESTER

Yes?

WARREN

You… you were there. In… in the pub. You were… you were… Malcolm’s… assistant!

HESTER

I was. A very long time ago.

WARREN

Except it wasn’t. It was… it was only the other day.

HESTER

Yes, it was also only the other day.

WARREN

Shit.

[HESTER’S COMM CRACKLES. IT’S AUBREY]

AUBREY

Hester. It’s time.

HESTER

Okay.

WARREN

I think I’m going to go and be somewhere quiet for a bit.

HESTER

Warren, are you sure you’re okay?

WARREN

I’m good, I’ve… I’ve got Waffles and I’ll take my Gord. I think I just need to be away for a bit.

HESTER

Of course. Of course. Just ask Gord for anything you need, he can take care of it.

WARREN

Right. Er… thanks… thanks again.

HESTER

Good night, Warren.

[HESTER DEPARTS]

GORD

Where would you like to go?

WARREN

Let’s go and see Gordon.


[A ROOM IN THE FARMHOUSE. THE MUSIC FROM THE PARTY CAN STILL BE HEARD IN THE DISTANCE THROUGH AN OPEN WINDOW]

GRACE

Shall I close the window, Jade? Is the draught too much?

JADE

No, no, I like it. The air, the music. Everyone getting on. How are we doing?

[A COUPLE OF BEEPS FROM A MACHINE]

AUBREY

We’re all set. Just need to pop a drop in the back of your hand.

JADE

Oh yes. Hand squeezy, hand squeezy, get those veins up.

AUBREY

You have excellent veins, Jade, did anyone tell you that?

JADE

Oh yes, the boys often remarked on the size of my… veins.

[AUBREY CHUCKLES]

AUBREY

Sharp scratch.

[JADE DOESN’T FLINCH. AUBREY CONNECTS AN IV LINE TO JADES CANNULA]

AUBREY

That’s it. So, when you’re ready. You just press this button here. That’ll start the medicine.

[JADE TAKES A DEEP BREATH]

JADE

How long does it take? I know you’ve told me more than once, I just like to hear you say it.

GRACE

A minute or two.

JADE

Oh, I’m scared, Aubrey.

AUBREY

You know you don’t have to go through with it Jade. Not now, not ever if you decide.

JADE

No, not that scared.

[JADE LEANS FORWARD WITHOUT WARNING AND PRESSES THE BUTTON. THE CLUNK OF THE INFUSION STARTING. A SLOW EXHALE]

JADE

More… wedding day scared. It’s a big day.

AUBREY

It is.

JADE

What shall we do now?

GRACE

Tell us a happy memory, Jade.

JADE

A happy memory… You see this scar, on my chin?

AUBREY

I do.

JADE

My family and I, we were in the Isle of Wight. Went there a few times. I loved it. We would go crabbing each day, collect all these greedy little crabs in a bucket then pour them back into the sea. My parents took us once, just, just down the way from the cottage we’d rented, down to the jetty. There were these huge concrete steps that the boats would slide down into the sea. Oh, this must’ve been 19… 86, 87. The tide was halfway in, good chance for crabs. And before we could even get started, I slipped on the seaweed and tumbled down two or three of these great big steps, landing on my chin, and I opened up this scar, you see it?

AUBREY

I can see it.

[JADE LIES BACK ON HER BED]

JADE

So, there I was, chin covered in blood, but not crying, just a bit stunned. And my mother looked at me in surprise, not at the blood but at my reaction, I think. No histrionics, no drama. She took my hand, and we walked quietly back to the cottage…we went to the bathroom, she pulled out a chair for me to stand on. Ah we… we looked at each other in the bathroom mirror, now the same height, this little girl with a blood-stained shirt and seaweed in her hair, and her mother, waiting to clean her up. We looked at each other for a long time. That’s it, that’s the memory.

AUBREY

Thank you, Jade.

[JADE HAS LAID BACK. HER EYES ARE CLOSED, HER BREATHING SLOWING]

JADE

Thank you for this. Thank you.

[SHE CONTINUES TO BREATHE SLOWLY. THE INFUSION PUMP CONTINUES. THE CREASK OF A FLOORBOARD, THE FLUTTER OF BIRDS PASSING OVER, THE MUSIC IN THE DISTANCE]

[FOOTSTEPS CLUNK DOWN THE ECHOEY STAIRCASE OF AN OFFICE BUILDING, THEN CONTINUE DOWN A CORRIDOR. EVENTUALLY THEY COME TO A STOP AT A DOOR, WHERE A ROOM IS GUARDED. CLIVE SCHILL IS WEARY AND PERMANENTLY STRESSED. THIS IS NOT THE WORLD HE WANTED TO FIND HIMSELF IN. HE ADDRESSES THE GUARD WITH A MINIMUM OF COURTESY THAT BECOMES CONFRONTATIONAL IN AN INSTANT]

CLIVE

Alright.

GUARD

Hello.

[CLIVE EXPECTED INSTANT ACCESS TO THIS ROOM]

CLIVE

May I pass please?

GUARD

Do you have clearance to see the prisoner?

CLIVE

Excuse me?

GUARD

Clearance. It means permission. Can you show me your identification?

[CLIVE PULLS AN ID OUT OF A POCKET WHICH MAKES A BEEP TONE AS IT’S CHECKED BY THE GUARD]

CLIVE

Is that clearance enough for you?

GUARD

Oh… my apologies. Please proceed. Sir.

CLIVE

Why don’t you jog on down to the Greggs on Tottenham Court Road and get me a sausage roll?

GUARD

What is ‘The Greggs’?

CLIVE

Oh, don’t tell me I’ve outlived Greggs, is nothing sacred…

GUARD

I’m sorry?

CLIVE

You can go now, Lurch.

GUARD

No one is to be left alone with the prisoner, sir.

CLIVE

Do you want me to bring Rebecca Landry down here and try this conversation again?

[AT THE MENTION OF THIS NAME, THE GUARD BACKS OFF]

GUARD

Oh… I - I will have to note this change of protocol in the log - sir -

CLIVE

You do that.

[THE GUARD LEAVES THE ROOM. CLIVE IS AWKWARD. HE WEAKLY TRIES TO MAKE A JOKE]

CLIVE

I guess there’s got to be some advantages to having an increasingly psychotic boss.

[A RUSTLE AS ANOTHER OCCUPANT OF THE ROOM SITS UP FROM HER POSITION LYING DOWN ON SOME OFFICE CHAIRS. SHE IS GROGGY, JUST WOKEN UP]

PAMELA

For you, maybe.

[CLIVE IS MEEK. PAMELA IS BITTER AND SARCASTIC]

CLIVE

Umm… I’ll speak to the guards. I don’t want anyone calling you - you’re not a prisoner -

PAMELA

Oh! Oh. Good to know.

[AWKWARD PAUSE]

CLIVE

How are you, Pam? Are you - Are they -

PAMELA

I’m peachy. Thanks for making the time.

CLIVE

Yeah… of course. I… I want to make sure you’re okay. Is there anything I can do for you? Is there anything I can…

[HE TAILS OFF]

PAMELA

Is there anything you can do? Is there anything you can do for me?

CLIVE

Alright, alright.

PAMELA

How much longer am I gonna be kept in here, Clive?

CLIVE

I don’t - hopefully -

PAMELA

I am imprisoned in a stationery storeroom. I sleep on three office chairs lashed together with zip ties. Men I don’t know walk me to the bathroom. Hopefully isn’t goddamn good enough!

CLIVE

Pam, you know how dangerous it is out there for someone like you right now. For anyone with cryo tech history. You’re too valuable to be walking the streets -

PAMELA

Of course, you’re protecting me! That’s why I only have one change of clothes and live in solitary confinement!

[PAM HAS STOOD UP AND IS STALKING HER TINY LIVING SPACE]

CLIVE

Pam, you know what the Bastion is like -

PAMELA

Oh the Bastion, the Bastion! Actually, I don’t know what the Bastion is like ‘cause I live in a windowless box, for all I know you and Becky made them up!

CLIVE

Pam, I mean it. Right… these people, they will kill you in the street. For once I am not exaggerating -

PAMELA

Do I have cryo tech scientist tattooed on my goddamn face?

CLIVE

Pam…

PAMELA

We’re Overhead! For God’s sake! And we’re running scared of these little freaks!

CLIVE

They are in charge. They are the police, they are what passes for a government, they are the church, they are everywhere -

PAMELA

What’s that got to do with me? Why the fuck aren’t you locked in here?

CLIVE

They blame hypersleep for everything. Everything that’s wrong, it’s all because the boss of this or the king of that ran off and hid in a cryopod and abandoned them. The only reason we’re even back in this building is because we’ve managed to convince them, for now, that we want to help them destroy anything to do with Kontinue. Which wasn’t very fucking easy when we’re the actual people who created it! We don’t know how smart they are, is it so hard to think they might be able to work out who you are and what you’ve done?

PAMELA

This is bullshit. Becky Landry promised us her resources. Everything Overhead could provide. Well shit, what have I got here… whiteboard markers, I’ve got toner, they still need hole punchers in the year twenty sixty whatever the fuck!

[SHE THROWS THE HOLE PUNCH AND IT CLATTERS OFF A WALL]

CLIVE

Pam - do you think this is what I want?! The both of us marooned in this shitty time, in this shitty place? After everything we did, after all the work we did. This is not what I want - it’s not what any of us want, is it?

PAMELA

No. You just want to go back to sleep, don’t you?

CLIVE

Of course I do. And so do you. And so does Rebecca. Look, if she’s behaving a little more scary, it’s because we’re in a scary place. Right, we need her.

PAMELA

While you’re out there and I’m in here, there is no ‘we’.

CLIVE

Pam, I’ve heard there’s new intel, I haven’t been briefed yet, but it might be something real, something big, something we can work with -

PAMELA

Clive. You fucking infant. We did the best we could, everything we could think of, and it still fell apart. We managed to sleep for barely 20 years. Out of a thousand! If you think letting her lock me in a closet as punishment until you stumble on enough spare parts for me to magic you up another cryopod, that we’re just going to dig a hole in the ground and sleep for a millennium…if that’s how you think this is going to end, you are truly as crazy as Becky Landry is.

[CLIVE CANNOT CONTINUE THIS CONVERSATION. HE HAS NOTHING MORE TO OFFER]

CLIVE

Look I’m… I’m going to go. I’ll see you tomorrow.

[HE MOVES BACK TO THE DOOR]

PAMELA

Run back to the boss. Tell her I said hi. Did she let you keep the CEO penthouse? Or you gotta find your own digs these days? What’s the rent like in 2064? Huh? You little bitch.

CLIVE

She’ll come round. This won’t last forever. I’m sorry.

PAMELA

Everything you have is ‘cause of me! Kontinue. The Aloha. Connecticut. You only got this far because of me!

[CLIVE STOPS SHORT OF LEAVING]

CLIVE

This works both ways, Pam.

[PAM GIVES A JOYLESS LAUGH UNDER HER BREATH]

PAMELA

Clive and Pam.

CLIVE

Clive and Pam.

[CLIVE KNOCKS ON THE DOOR. IT OPENS AND HE STEPS OUT]