Memorial Twig
[CLICK]
AUBREY
Uh-hmm. Hello. Uh. Aubrey Wood, Specialist, Day 1, April 17th, log number…1. Safe arrival at Red Valley facility, 19.00 hours. Was immediately taken to quarters, in the farm house. Everything seems good. Everything fine. Unpacking. Full itinerary in place for tomorrow, follow up log to be…comprehensive.
[CUT]
AUBREY
Oh, personal. Nothing to add. It’s lovely to be here.
[CUT]
AUBREY
–Amoxycillin, flucloxicillin, tetracycline, gentamicin but in bottles not amps, metronidazole bags, vancomycin. I’ll have the list of what’s missing in tomorrow’s report. Personal - nothing to add.
[CUT]
AUBREY
–sunny all day, and I realised the AC unit isn’t functioning properly in the sub level. I’m attaching the catalogue number, as I’m unable to locate an inventory, or really any record keeping of any kind on our utilities, please advise. Personal - nothing to add. Thanks.
[CUT]
AUBREY
–Following introductions and initiation on the base, and after a little rest after his journey, I expect to have our first formal strategy meeting in the morning. Looking forward to it.
[PAUSE]
AUBREY
Uh, personal. Dr Thomas seems really nice, he’s enthusiastic, he’s itching to get started. It’s good to see another face. I know it’s only been 8 days and I’ve had no trouble on my own, it’s just…good to have someone to talk to. Soon this place will have people everywhere and I’ll probably miss the peace and quiet.
[CUT]
AUBREY
Personal. It’s been frustrating today, if I’m completely honest. We all had a plan before we left, and to be held up by a courier service is irritating to say the least. It should’ve been here before the clients even arrived, ideally before I’d even arrived. I’m sure the installation will take ages as well. I know it’s not my field but honestly, I don’t even know where it’s all going to go. I’ve seen the mobile MRI unit, it’s state of the art but it’s still enormous, and it’s meant to go in house, so I don’t see that being easy. Unless they get the clients themselves to carry it in. Honestly, they look like a brick shithouse and a giant haystack had babies. And then those babies went to the gym.
[CUT]
[A BREEZE BLOWS THROUGH TREES, BIRDS SINGING WITH LIGHT TRAFFIC IN THE DISTANCE]
[RUSTLING IN A POCKET, A PAUSE]
[THE RINGING OF A PHONE, WHICH IS QUICKLY ANSWERED]
KAREN
Warren!
WARREN
Hey!
KAREN
Where the hell are you?
WARREN
I’m in Gravesend.
KAREN
Gravesend?! When did you…? why?-
WARREN
Karen, it’s fine, I’m alright.
KAREN
And what about me? What if I’m not alright? You must have seen my calls, my messages, how dare you just up and go out of nowhere-
WARREN
I know, I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. I can’t give you an excuse.
KAREN
I haven’t slept, I wanted to call the police-
WARREN
God, you didn’t, did you? Call the police?
KAREN
No.
[PAUSE]
KAREN
Why have you gone there, Warren?
WARREN
I just needed to go home.
KAREN
Is this because of that guy you were talking to? Graham-
WARREN
Gordon Porlock.
KAREN
He sounds like a herbal remedy.
WARREN
It’s nothing to do with anyone. It’s just me.
KAREN
Where are you right now?
WARREN
…I’m at my dad’s grave.
KAREN
Jesus, babe.
WARREN
Well, it’s not a grave, it’s a memorial tree. Well, it’s not a memorial tree really, it’s more of a memorial twig.
KAREN
Look, I can take the day off, if I leave now, I can be there in, what, 3 / 4 hours-
WARREN
No no, really, I’m fine. I just needed to see it, work some stuff out, I don’t mean to be so dramatic, I got tunnel vision or something, I was just driving and before I knew it, I was halfway here.
KAREN
What about work?
WARREN
It’s ok, I’m meant to be out of the office today anyway.
KAREN
And your pills, do you have all your pills?
WARREN
Yes, I have them. I keep spares in the glove box. I’ll be home tonight. I promise.
[FOOTSTEPS OVER GRAVEL APPROACHING]
WARREN
Babe I need to go, alright?
KAREN
What’s going on? Is someone there?
WARREN
It’s fine, I’ll speak to you soon.
KAREN
Warren? War-
[WARREN HANGS UP THE PHONE]
WARREN
Hi.
EMILY
Why are you wearing a suit? Are you going to court?
WARREN
It’s what I wear for work.
EMILY
Well it doesn’t look right on you.
WARREN
Okay.
EMILY
Don’t worry, this isn’t a dramatic coincidence. Laura at the hotel told me you were here. Figured this would be why.
WARREN
You’re friends with Laura at the hotel?
EMILY
No, I hate her guts. We’re friends on Facebook.
WARREN
Right.
EMILY
Why are you back, Warren?
WARREN
Um. I just…uh. I wanted to see…
EMILY
You wanted to make sure he was really dead? Because I guess you wouldn’t really know for sure, would you?
WARREN
I haven’t come to fight with you Emily.
EMILY
It would be a long way to drive to get your arse kicked Warren. I assume you live a long way away. Or maybe you just live above the Co-op how would I know. No, you ran far away, didn’t you. New clothes, new haircut. You don’t even sound like yourself. Who was that on the phone?
WARREN
Karen. She’s my wife.
EMILY
Your wife? You know what, I don’t own this garden, or this town, but right here, this little square of grass, I paid for it, and I’m gonna tell you to fuck right off it. You gave up your right to come and stare meaningfully at anything in it.
WARREN
Emily. I’m sorry, I’ll be going.
EMILY
You should only do what you can live with, Warren. Dad was fine with what he did. Never said a word about any of it, not after mum, not after you, not even at the end when the whole town knew and there was no one but me. Because I couldn’t live with leaving him on his own, in pain. So I stayed. I changed his sheets and got that bastard in and out of the bath while you were off getting fucking married. So I am the one who gets to come up here and tend to this sad little tree. Because I planted it. You fucked off. So you can stay fucked off.
[CUT]
[CLICK]
AUBREY
Personal. The novelty has worn off. The valley, the base. Even that farmhouse that I thought was so gorgeous. Once you look even semi-closely at any of it…The farmhouse has one of those low doorframes that is so cute, the first time you see it, the first time you stoop to get under it, it’s like, aw, people were so diddy way back when, weren’t they. It is so bloody annoying to have to stoop or cock your head to the side every damn time you walk under any doorway in this house. I have neck pain. I have neck pain because of the doors, and the pillows which, I’m sorry, are like prison pillows. I would roll up a towel to put under the pillow but there aren’t enough towels because I was given one regulation Overhead towel and assumed there would be more in the farmhouse, and there were, but they were all covered in these…midges or whatever they are, they’re the dominant fucking lifeforms out here so I burned the bloody towels and did a dance around them because they were so fucking gross. Anyway, more blood tests tomorrow, yay, goodnight.
[CUT]
AUBREY
Personal. I’m really glad Bryony is here. Dr Halbech I mean. She likes formality, and so do I. I didn’t properly realise until she got here but I was excited for her to join us not just because she’s the leader of the operation but because, and maybe it makes me sound weak or whatever, I was tired of being the only woman up here. I’m tired of the way the subjects look at me. It’s intimidating and it freaks me out. I’m tired of looking to Ben for…what? Protection? Reassurance? He couldn’t protect me from a malicious bag of crisps. Plus I catch him staring at my arse every other day.
[CUT]
[A BELL JINGLES AS WARREN OPENS THE DOOR]
[MUSIC PLAYS SOFTLY IN THE BACKGROUND]
ASSISTANT
Hey.
WARREN
Hey.
[A PAUSE AS WARREN PACES THE SHOP]
ASSISTANT
Anything you’re looking for in particular?
WARREN
Um. Not really, I guess. I used to come in here all the time when I was younger, I just wanted to see if it was still here.
ASSISTANT
Oh, sure. It’s been 21 years since we opened. You don’t live round here anymore?
WARREN
No, I moved away a while ago. I bought my first guitar here. All my CDs, all my games…I wish I still had it all. God, it’s almost identical! The sign outside’s changed, though. Used to be that big grand old thing said ‘Second Time Around.’
ASSISTANT
Yeah, we still have it out the back. My dad decided 2TA was cooler, that people would think it sounded sophisticated. Acronyms were all the rage a little while ago.
WARREN
Yeah, yeah, I understand that.
ASSISTANT
Everyone still calls it Second Time Around though. 2TA sounds weird. Sounds like a French dressmakers or something. Toutiers.
WARREN
Toutiers! I see what you mean. Wait, so is your dad Phil then?
ASSISTANT
Yeah, that’s him. I’m Miles.
WARREN
Warren, nice to meet you. Oh no way!
ASSISTANT
What?
WARREN
That’s an original Sega MegaDrive. I had exactly that model. It was like my best friend.
[WARREN RIFLES THROUGH A BOX]
WARREN
Wait, do all these games come with it?
ASSISTANT
Uh, yeah. Think so.
WARREN
I have to have it.
[WARREN SCOOPS UP THE GAMES CONSOLE, CABLES AND GAMES AND LUMPS THEM HAPPILY ON THE COUNTER]
WARREN
It would’ve been great to see your dad after all these years. He would never remember me but I never forgot him. He was a wise dude.
ASSISTANT
Do not let him hear you say that, I’d never hear the end of it. Cash or card?
WARREN
Oh, card.
ASSISTANT
Sure, go ahead.
[WARREN OPENS HIS WALLET, PICKS A CARD AND TAPS IT ON THE READER. IT BEEPS]
ASSISTANT
Oh.
WARREN
What?
ASSISTANT
You’re…Warren Godby?
WARREN
Uh. Yeah. You read that off my card, you must have good eyes.
ASSISTANT
You’re William Godby’s son?
WARREN
…Yeah. I am. Can I get a bag for this?-
[THE CARD READER IS SNATCHED AWAY]
WARREN
What’s going on?
ASSISTANT
I am going to have to ask you to leave.
WARREN
And why is that?
ASSISTANT
We, uh. We reserve the right to refuse service to, uh, anyone, uh, that we feel–
WARREN
You’ve already served me. It’s already gone through. Can I just get a bag for all the merchandise I just bought from you? And I’ll be on my way.
ASSISTANT
We reserve the right to. Um. Refuse to give a bag to anyone that we feel–
WARREN
Hey, hey. What’s going on here?
ASSISTANT
I heard you were back.
WARREN
You what?
ASSISTANT
My friend Toby told me he’d seen you.
WARREN
Who the hell is Toby?
ASSISTANT
He heard it from his brother’s girlfriend who works at the Travel Inn.
WARREN
Jesus Christ, do you all have a fucking shared WhatsApp group or something?
ASSISTANT
No.
WARREN
Can I speak to your father, please?
ASSISTANT
He’s not here.
WARREN
Then I’ll speak to whoever’s in charge.
ASSISTANT
I’m in charge.
WARREN
You can’t be in charge. You’re a small boy.
ASSISTANT
I’m 22.
WARREN
You’re not 22, Pugsley.
ASSISTANT
My name is Miles.
WARREN
Your name is Pugsley. From the fucking Addams Family.
ASSISTANT
You’re not welcome here. Nor is anyone from your paedo family.
WARREN
What the fuck did you just say to me?
[THE DOORBELL GOES, A GROUP OF YOUNG MEN ENTER]
CUSTOMER
Hey Miles.
ASSISTANT
Oh hey Sam. Jake.
JAKE
Hey.
ASSISTANT
Pauly.
PAULY
Hey.
ASSISTANT
Ian.
IAN
Alright.
PINGU
Noot noot!
ASSISTANT
[close] You probably want to be leaving now.
WARREN
You’re seriously not going to give me a bag are you?
ASSISTANT
No.
[WARREN SCOOPS UP HIS PURCHASES CLUMSILY]
WARREN
Don’t worry about the receipt either.
ASSISTANT
I won’t.
[CUT]
[CLICK]
AUBREY
Personal. Teddy Bear’s Picnic is real, it’s happening, Dr Thomas and Dr Halbech and I took the evening off to celebrate, and the subjects are having some relaxation time too, in their, uh, in their area. There was champagne, which I didn’t know was here, which was very smart of Dr Halbech I suppose because it would’ve been gone a long time ago. It’s been a hard few months. It’s been lonely, and cold, and… brittle, that’s the word I’m looking for, I’ve felt brittle. It wasn’t what I thought it would be. For better as well as worse, it has been such a privilege to get even this far. I can’t wait to see what happens next. The first infusion begins tomorrow, on Yogi bear. I will get used to the stupid names. It’s going to be great! I’m going to bed. Which is also great! Goodnight!
[GORDON IS CALLING WARREN. IT GOES UNANSWERED FOR SOME TIME]
WARREN
Gordon Porlock, secret warlock!
GORDON
…Warren?
WARREN
…Gordon?
GORDON
How’s it going?
WARREN
It’s going great. If I sound distracted it’s because I’m about to complete a level very near the end of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 and it’s extremely tense and exciting.
GORDON
Sonic the Hedgehog 2?
WARREN
You know Sonic, right?
GORDON
Yeah of course I do. I loved it when I was little. Wait, which level?
WARREN
Wing Fortress Zone.
GORDON
Oh. Right near the end then. Do you want me to call you back?
WARREN
No, no. Truth be told I had to use the level select cheat to get this far. First time I couldn’t even get past…what’s the one with all the hills?
GORDON
Hill Top Zone?
WARREN
And then I couldn’t get past the one with all the oil.
GORDON
Oil Ocean Zone.
WARREN
You really do know Sonic.
GORDON
All the guys were Sonic in my school.
WARREN
Really, mine were all Mario.
GORDON
So you struck out alone with Sega then?
WARREN
Ah, not quite. I had both.
GORDON
Oh, wow! Fancy.
WARREN
Well, actually that was just one method of poor compensation from my father to validate rampant domestic abuse in the family home, but StarWing was pretty good, I guess.
GORDON
Warren, are you okay?
WARREN
I’m fine. I mean I’ve obviously been drinking, but it’s not what you’re imagining, I’m not surrounded by empty whiskey miniatures from the minibar. Honestly, I have to take so much medication at the moment that I get like this on, like, two beers. And that’s all I’ve had. Two beers. With dinner. That’s why I can’t finish Sonic 2 without a level select.
GORDON
I can call back another time…
WARREN
Prove your credentials to me, Gordon. Tell me the cheat.
GORDON
The what?
WARREN
The level select cheat code for this game. Come on. Dum da da dum dum, dum da da dum dum…
GORDON
Um…
WARREN
Don’t you google that shit, I know you’re sitting by your fucking computer you big geek, don’t do it.
GORDON
No no, no, I was just remembering. It was in the options screen, the sound test option wasn’t it, I remember.
WARREN
Ding ding ding! What the hell was a sound test? Why was it even there?
GORDON
I know. Why would we want to test the sound?
WARREN
Numbers, Gordon. What were the sound test numbers.
GORDON
Okay.
WARREN
Don’t google it.
GORDON
19.
WARREN
Ding!
GORDON
Shit… Sixty…sixty something…
WARREN
Don’t google it.
GORDON
I’m not. I’m not. Jesus. 65.
WARREN
A ding ding dong!
GORDON
Then it’s 9 and 17 or 7 and 19… shit.
WARREN
You’re on the ropes. You fuck this up and you are dead to me. I’m gonna hang up the phone and I’m gonna piss on it.
GORDON
Shit, it’s not 19 again is it, no, we just had that. 9 and 17.
WARREN
Dong dong dong!
GORDON
Man. That was exhausting.
WARREN
You did it! That was amazing! You have my permission to continue with whatever reason you were actually calling me about.
GORDON
Oh right. Yeah.
WARREN
Gordon?
GORDON
Look, Warren umm… I feel I’ve thrown you into all this too fast. It’s a lot to take, and maybe I should-
WARREN
Gordon. You’re talking very strangely. I’m literally just this second starting the last level of this game. It’s going to be very difficult for you to go serious on me because this level is called…?
GORDON
The Death Egg Zone.
WARREN
The fucking Death Egg! What were they thinking?! Anyway. Proceed.
GORDON
Well that’s it really Warren. I’m just saying. Maybe, we can step back a little from the whole Red Valley thing.
WARREN
What? Why?
GORDON
Well you said you were going through some stuff. That you’re on medication, and now you’re off dealing with your family stuff…
WARREN
Who said I was doing that? Have you been talking to someone about me?
GORDON
No.
WARREN
Gordon?
GORDON
Ok… Clive Schill asked me about you and said you were going through a lot, and, well I thought—
WARREN
Oh, fuck that guy. Through his trousers. Gordon, I guess I am going through a lot. I am sat in a travel inn with a secondhand retro games console, after having a very upsetting chat with my single remaining blood relative over the grave of my shit father, before getting humiliated in my favourite secondhand games shop by a fat child, my meds mean I can’t even drink a decent amount of beer before I collapse in a heap and truth be told, the side effects of that medication mean I am utterly unable to even have sex with my wife, who is understandably exasperated with my behaviour and who could blame her! Oh fuck! Fuck!
GORDON
What?
WARREN
I did it!
GORDON
Did what?
WARREN
Dr Robotnik! I blew up his stupid little dick robot! I killed that fat fucker!
GORDON
Warren! Talk quieter!
WARREN
I murdered him! I smote his fucking ruin.
GORDON
Good. That’s great, man.
WARREN
The end sequence is starting. Oh, man, I cried the first time I saw this.
GORDON
It’s all black and white, isn’t it? All the animals are sad cos they think Sonic’s dead.
WARREN
Google it. We’ll watch it together.
GORDON
Okay.
WARREN
You got it?
GORDON
Wait. Yeah, I have. It’s on.
WARREN
The music alone. Didn’t Michael Jackson write some music for this?
GORDON
That was Sonic 3. I don’t think anything ended up in the finished game.
WARREN
Gordon you are a trivia monger. Oh, I listened to all those tapes you gave me.
GORDON
All of them? Really?
WARREN
Yeah. Aubrey Wood. It’s sad.
GORDON
Yeah. It is.
WARREN
She seemed so hopeful.
GORDON
Hopeful for putting people in blenders and seeing what came out the other side.
WARREN
She doesn’t sound like a monster to me man. She sounds like she had no idea how all that was going to go.
GORDON
Oh, she knew. She wasn’t applying to a job she saw in the free ads, she’ll have worked her whole career to get to that point.
WARREN
Do you really think all this death and horror is for people who just want to live longer? Or space travel?
GORDON
I don’t know. Maybe.
WARREN
That’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. What if it wasn’t anything that grand at all? What if it was just like a seed vault? What if it was just about storage?
GORDON
What do you mean?
WARREN
Have you considered penitentiary?
GORDON
Penitentiary?
WARREN
You said you thought all the test subjects, the teddy bears, you said you thought they were military, right?
GORDON
Only because of the military contract history with the base. And the endurance, the fitness tests the subjects had to go through.
WARREN
You know who’s got a lot of time to work on their fitness? Prisoners. You know how many contracts Overhead has in the United States penal system alone?
GORDON
I don’t.
WARREN
It’s a lot. And eastern Europe. And Russia. And more over here all the time.
GORDON
Right…
WARREN
Forget about rich folks wanting to meet their own great grandkids in the future. Forget about anyone wanting to walk on the fourth moon of Neptune. Imagine a prison where you don’t need to spend any money on living standards. No food, no clothes, no cells. No security! No one’s getting shivved. You put a murderer in cryonic storage, pop him on a shelf, you can forget about him for 20 years.
GORDON
Whoa.
WARREN
I know, right?
GORDON
Like…Sylvester Stallone in…
WARREN
Say it!
GORDON
In… fucking… Demolition Man!
WARREN
Demolition Man, motherfucker!
GORDON
That’s a really exciting idea, Warren.
WARREN
I know.
GORDON
I mean, I mean… it’s horrible, of course.
WARREN
Oh yeah, it’s terrifying. So, we’re going to drop in on some guy I know in Derby tomorrow.
GORDON
Wait, what?
WARREN
He’s a rep for some of our products that go into prisons. I thought we should meet him.
GORDON
In Derby? Can you not just call him?
WARREN
Well it’s a pit stop. On our way to Red Valley.
GORDON
You want to go to Red Valley?
WARREN
You want to go to Red Valley, Gordon Porlock. And you’ve been waiting for someone to give you the shove. That’s why you picked me.
GORDON
Warren…we need to think this through…
WARREN
Too late. I already told Doug Holder we’re doing it.
GORDON
You what? When?
WARREN
About half an hour ago.
GORDON
Wait, when you were…
WARREN
Tipsy and preoccupied with Sonic the Hedgehog, yeah. It went about as well as you’re imagining.
GORDON
Fucking hell.
WARREN
Let’s do it. Get in your golden bullet and pick me up. We can meet at a services somewhere, I’ll send you the details.
GORDON
Uh, okay–
WARREN
Off you fuck now, I’m gonna play Virtua Racing.
GORDON
Right-
WARREN
£70 when it came out. For a mega drive game. Madness!
GORDON
Yeah. That’s what’s mad!
WARREN
Har har, fuck you, bye.